What’s the Disconnect?

I get this question often. Allow me to give you some context. I'm speaking with a pastor, encouraging him in the truth that he is fully loved, accepted, worthy and secure in Christ and that he is completely forgiven, once and for all time.
He listens intently. Then he says, "Thank you for the encouragement. I needed to hear that. Here's the thing, though, I know all that; I am in the middle of preaching a sermon on almost everything you mentioned. But, when it comes to believing that's true about me, it's very difficult. What's the disconnect?"

Why can we freely and easily encourage others, but when it comes to us, a different standard applies?
That can be a complicated question, but it doesn't have to be.

The answer to why can be simplified by saying it's a belief issue. Believing has always been an issue with humankind. If we look back at why the Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years, we quickly see it was unbelief, not believing in what God had said.

We can further break down the pastor's statement, "But, when it comes to believing that's true about me, it's very difficult," by asking ourselves, what do I believe is true about me?

Let's take just one of the four basic needs we all desire; acceptance. We all want to be accepted or be acceptable. This desire begins to manifest at a very early age. If our experience has been or is that family, friends, acquaintances, or situations have caused us to feel unaccepted or unacceptable, we begin to form beliefs about ourselves. The more those experiences happen to us, no matter the degree of intensity, the deeper the belief becomes. In this example, "I am not acceptable." How we deal with that belief varies dramatically from person to person. We can spend years coping with that belief by implementing whatever strategy works best for us. It might be to start smoking because that's what the cool kids do. Experiment with drugs and sex. Maybe change your appearance with different clothes, hair or maybe tattoos. Associate ourselves with like-minded people, people coping with the same beliefs. Maybe work harder than anyone else to become successful and wealthy. Buy new houses and cars. I think you get the idea. "Fitting in" becomes the goal, and strategies become the means to that goal.

But none of the strategies address the core issue; the belief.

So back to the original question; what is the disconnect? I believe the disconnect has a couple of layers.

Layer one; we spend a good part of our life developing and perfecting life strategies meant to cope with negative beliefs. Some of them give the appearance of working but never seem to solve the real issue.

Layer two; we drag these same strategies into our life in Christ and then wonder why we are having such a hard time believing what God says about us is true. Because our life experience does not match our perception of how a "good Christian's" life should look, we then determine that something is wrong with us or our relationship with God.

When we are born again, that means something. It's not just a pithy Christian saying. Something really happens to us. Paul expresses this change in 2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, this person is a new creation; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

"If anyone is in Christ," that's you and I. We are in Christ, and He is in us. You and I are united with Him. That means something; it's real.
Now imagine dragging the old way we do life into this new life in Christ. Jesus describes the dilemma this way in; Mark 2:21-22 "No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment; otherwise, the patch pulls away from it, the new from the old, and a worse tear results. 22 And no one puts new wine into old wineskins; otherwise the wine will burst the skins, and the wine is lost and the skins as well; but one puts new wine into fresh wineskins."

Do you see it? We are fresh wineskins trying to put in old wine. A wine steward will tell you old wine is better; well, maybe at the dinner table, but not in our new life in Christ.

You say that makes sense, but how do I apply that in my life? Let's go back to our example of acceptability and the belief that I am not accepted. If you had to justify that belief biblically, could you?
I'm confident you would say no because you know differently. In fact, if your best friend came to you struggling with that very issue, you would probably encourage that person with the biblical truth that God unconditionally accepts them.

The million-dollar question is, why do I struggle to believe this is true about me? Maybe you're still trying to put new wine into the old wineskin. Meaning those strategies we worked so hard on to cope with life and our beliefs which depend entirely on us to implement, have to be set aside for something new.

Paul's fervent prayer in Ephesians 3:14-19 was this;  14 For this reason I bend my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, 16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner self, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled to all the fullness of God.

Notice verse 17; 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love.
Root and grounded in love. He is not saying it is a future hope but a present reality. What exactly does it mean to be rooted and grounded in God's love? Wow, that's too much to comprehend. I think that was Paul's point.

God's love for us has rooted and grounded us in a new truth about us. Something that is rooted and grounded is immoveable, unbudging, unbending, uncompromising, unrelenting, unyielding, and anchored. The truth that God has clearly defined who you are is something you can depend on, regardless of your circumstances, feelings, or what someone once told you.

Believing what God says about me is an act of faith. This faith requires us not to attach truth to our feelings, circumstances, and past, present, or future experiences. Colossians 2:6-7 gets it right; 6 Therefore, as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, 7 having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude.

"Therefore, as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him" That was by faith, right? You heard the gospel's truth, believed it, and became a new creation by faith.

In the same way, you believed Jesus is the Son of God and that he died and then rose from the dead. Believe what God is saying about you. You are fully loved. You are fully accepted. You are fully worthy. You are fully secure.

Think about these truths. Set your mind on these truths, and the peace of God will surpass all your Earthly understanding.